hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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