yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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