Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
