you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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