People with herpes should wear stickers.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
