The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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