he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
