In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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