Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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