I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
