Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
