He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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