Who wears a wallet chain?!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
