i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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