there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
