Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
