How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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