check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Vodka?
Forever.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
