Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
