Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
