at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
