I wish i was in the wii world.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
