..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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