i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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