She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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