I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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