When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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