Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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