Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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