high people should be assigned attendants
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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