I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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