so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
