U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When are your genitals available?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
