Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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