I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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