Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet