And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday