Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?