u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I see more hoeing in ur future
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