Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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