my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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