I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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