whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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