Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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