Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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