Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
