I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
