I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
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Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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