Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize