Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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