That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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