I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
