wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
