It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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