Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
