You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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