he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
where am i from again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
