my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
