I should be sponsored by Trojan
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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