i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need to calm my uterus...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
