omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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