R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
