Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Boobs are out for the taking
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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