TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
