She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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